“I am whom i am. Love it or Hate it ”
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again and again!
Wednesday, September 30 || 11:23:00 AM
i thought i would be brave and strong to do it, yet i fail.
i thought by doing it i would know more about you, yet im puzzled.
i thought knowing you more will be able to read your mind better, yet i confuse myself.
i thought i would not compare, yet i gonna jealous.
i thought i would not think much, yet i lost my confidence.
Pages and pages of your life written not by anyone else but you the author seems to contain alot of sadness, alot of sorrows, alot of ups and downs in your life. you have been through alot for these past years and im sorry that i wasnt there for you then.
You are special because you have your friends, your loved ones. Many hi-bye friends as well. Sometimes, one may be biased to another instead of you but still, they loves you. For an example, mommy biased my elder brother because he is the first child, but she loves me too. Daddy pampers me because im the only daughter but he loves my brothers too. I may scold my siblings being useless but i love them too. The reason is that we are one family and that is non-replaceable.
So many thoughts are trying to outburst through my mind after reading about you and your life. So many things i want to tell you, but i dont know how.
Aint suppose to compare, but it pulled down my confidence level. My mind is being irritating AGAIN as it starts to wander, yet AGAIN.
Maybe i aint the best for you?you love A so much yet you are never together, your love for B was yet returned by her, C is never bad to you, always there for you and i think she needs you.Damnit!I shall never overestimate myself again because i dont wish to put myself through this. Curiosity kills, but overestimating oneself feels more like taking a knife and poke myself and thinking " what the fuck am i doing this to myself?" while looking at the wound that is bleeding non-stop!
OKIE! *call out to myself* "Karine Kwan!!!" *trying to look at myself through my monitor screen. HA!* "Grab a hold of yourself and stop the Drama-mama act!!!!!"
BOOHOO!
