“I am whom i am. Love it or Hate it ”
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emo eating into me!
Friday, September 4 || 11:56:00 AM
I really not know what I should be saying now! I am very angry and I am jealous! I have put it across to you without protecting myself from getting hurt because I wan you to know how I feel. I am not saint, I may not ask, I may not comment and that doesn’t means I don’t care.
I NEVER stop you from meeting friends!
I NEVER tell you what you should be doing!
I NEVER tell you not to talk to anyone just because I don’t like he/she!
I NEVER tell you to forgo the friendship just for me!
I NEVER tell you that your world should only have me!
All I merely say was what I feel:
I don’t like it when you say you love me and tell me I am your woman and on the other hand, seeing you posting certain comments to your friend. I am jealous because me myself do not do that to mislead people. Maybe you are used to behaving this way, maybe you thought that I would understand as long as you tell me you love me and no one else, I would accept it.
I may accept it most of the times, but it is not going to happen when I am grumpy or upset!
And if you don’t like it, SHOO it out! I don’t want to start a new chapter with the fact that I know I am going to quarrel plenty over this. I really don’t like it that when such conflicts arises, you just MIA and refuses to talk about it. I need you to talk so that I can know how you feel, or at least, I can try to accommodate!
Last night was very emotional, and I shouldn’t have behaves that way in the first place. But as I listened to songs more, I feel tears starting to swell and I cannot control. Tears just start rolling down! I despise myself being a weakling, despise myself for showing my weakness to others, and despise myself to be again, dependent on someone else. I dint know I cried till what time and my last scene was that I decided to finally stop listening to music and rest my mind.
Everyone is saying that I have been thinking a lot lately but I know it deep down that this is the ME that I have always behaved. Think a lot but refuses to tell others. Thoughts just keep appearing in my mind unless for days where I worked real hard and I will knocked out to my precious bed.
I have to admit, days with him seem to be happier and moments with him seems to be short and insufficient but it seems like as time slowly unfold, if character is unsuitable, with how strong love is, the couple will be tired as well.
Like what I told you, I feel that you and she are a perfect match, and that she is able to take good care of you and love you for whom you are and also, reads your mind. May be you can reconsider your route before you put your another foot into this.
Damnit! I really dislike myself being emotionally unstable, and insecure! WHERE IS THE KARINE THAT I KNOW!!!! I can’t even find her when I look right into the mirror!!!
Don’t tell me that the outburst I had yesterday aint enough! FARK!
