“I am whom i am. Love it or Hate it ”
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just my feelings
Wednesday, January 20 || 9:26:00 PM
Are we really a misfit? Not compatible to one another?
Today i cried hard, really hard. Once when i was hiding in my office Handicapped toilet sniffing softly trying not to be realized, then, just now. Hidden in my bathroom and cried for almost a full 20 mins. I cried badly till now my eyes were swollen and puffy, running nose now...
Wondering why am i crying so badly... Was it really because im emotionally driven?
We had some serious talk. He told me we are misfit. He is afraid of commitment, vows and promises. He dread marriage, future partner and forming a family. He aim for career, studies and a good job before even wanting to think about anything else.
Thinking back, i never speak to him about marriage, about family and about money.
I was just trying to enjoy a simple relationship, one with a companion that will share my joy and sadness, be there for me when i needed him and one that is able to brighten up my life.
it has been long since i last cried so badly. Back then, it was to start something new which i believed things will be better. now, i cried. Because the something that i believe will be good is coming to an end.
You feel you are of no wrongs because that is your way of doing things. I dislike it, also is because of my way of doing things. Is there any right/wrong? To me, it is call flirting. To you, it is call internal joke.
Maybe this form of internal joke never occur to me or maybe, im just taking it too serious.
Life is rather taxing and stressful for me at this phrase of life. Things just seems very wrong, it is a little out of my control actually.
Laopo asked me out yet i rejected her kindness.
Pearllyn dearie asked me out, even suggested to come under my block, i rejected her kindness.
Zen told me to not to think and rest.
Yvonne told me to take care
Jacq told me to accept the person as to whom i love.
Thank you babes. But im too tired to think or to process anything.
