“I am whom i am. Love it or Hate it ”
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up to you to think
Friday, March 12 || 11:40:00 PM
Uncertainties always arises in my intensity thinking session, practically every day, i think a lot, excessively.
It just keep occurring to me that maybe we are alright, maybe we are in the midst of understanding one another and getting used to one another, accommodating of the various differences.
maybe it's just me again, thinking too much.
i never see you having so much enthusiastic and energy when you are out with me, neither do i see you behaving so cheery when you are around me. Days and days and i will always hear you complaining about your work, about being tired and not sufficient rest taken.
Today, you shown me the cheery side of you, shown me that you are happy, going out on late night activities despite having to work tomorrow, but you guess what... it did not happened when you were with me, it happened when you are out with your friends.
We work very differently.
To me, i would always want to mix my bestfriends with my boyfriend. So, in the midst of being busy, i can accommodate and accompany both side and this is call balance for me. that's is the reason why i would always ask if you would want to follow or accompany me to events or gatherings.
To you, you like these two parties to be separated, not combined. You never have the thoughts to ask me to tag along with you, or simply, you don't bother to ask.
(maybe the thoughts run in your mind, but the fact is, you did not voiced it out.)Maybe your time spend with me is never satisfying or entertaining enough for you as compared to your friends.
Or maybe, the differences is too huge where love, being so magical, can yet to fill the gap up.
Sometimes, i just hope you would be understanding and in fact, show more concerns to me. It occur when i was really very tired at work, i would appreciate if you would even voice out to fetch me home from interchange just to shorten my trip back. but you never did. I told you i had a sore back and gastric, but you never bothered asking why.
Maybe, you just don't need me to be in your life at all.
Stress has been chasing me these few weeks where i''m in fact, trying my best to maintain all the various elements as per how they were.
Having to handle and manage:
1. Work
2. Blogshop
3. Gym-ing session
4. BGR
5. Schooling and projects
6. Friends
Maybe you are also busy with your phrase of life that you just love yourself much more than others, you did not even asked me about my schooling and projects and stuff.
Tell me if you don't need me.
I will learn to walk out of your life quietly.
Today i lied to you telling you im heading to bed, i just don't wish to let you know i will be waiting just for you to get home.
and you, being irresponsible, headed to Kbox knowing tomorrow having to work.
i wouldn't want to have any Karine's day this week since you are tired.
Whatever~!
What rights do i even have, to care?
