“I am whom i am. Love it or Hate it ”

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Officially missing you



[Verse One]
All I hear is raindrops
Falling on the rooftop
Oh baby tell me why'd you have to go
Cause this pain I feel
It wont go away
And today I'm officially missing you
I thought that from this heartache
I could escape
But I fronted long enough to know
There ain't no way
And today
I'm officially missing you

[Chorus]
Oh can't nobody do it like you
Said every little thing you do
Hey baby say it stays on my mind
And I, I'm officially

[Verse Two]
All I do is lay around
Two ears full tears
From looking at your face on the wall
Just a week ago you were my baby
Now I don't even know you at all
I don't know you at all
Well I wish that you would call me right now
So that I could get through to you somehow
But I guess it's safe to say baby safe to say
That I'm officially missing you

[Chorus]

[Bridge]
Well I thought I could just get over you baby
But I see that's something I just can't do
From the way you would hold me
To the sweet things you told me
I just can't find a way
To let go of you

[Chorus]

It official
You know that I'm missing you
Yeah yes
All I hear is raindrops
And I'm officially missing you


It seems like i prefer their version than the original version, maybe it is the video.- story plot. hmmm. But it is a good song. :)




Im officially missing you.



it seems like im the one that is having some issues. Sigh, maybe im thinking too much again. Weirdly that im behaving in such manner as i have never feel like this before. Im worried... Maybe like what i think im having, minor depression. HA!

Im tired.

Happy birthday Wesley bro. i hope you enjoyed, helped out in every single things that i could so that i can contribute a little for your special day.

take care ya? :)

P.S: you have an adorable sister and i definitely don't look like your ex girlfriend OKIE!

Sigh. Maybe I'm asking too much!

Come across a few songs that i would wanna share, or at least, put some of my thoughts down.

丁噹 - 猜不透



<<越是在乎的人越是猜不透>>

"離開，不一定是因爲 不愛，
也可能是因爲，太愛，太在乎了。。"


Unknown - 最后一次





I love the piano playing very much and i think im a sucker for music that plays via piano. thinking back years when i sat next to a friend whom i totally forgotten his name, in a camp that i attended during secondary school. He was playing the piano and i just start to tear. HAHAHAH.

That's me for you.

sometimes having a man that doesn't lack girls seems rather complicated.

He don't lack girls since he is surrounded by many. but does that makes you special? because you are the only one he is wanting to be with?

YES?/NO?/I DON"T KNOW?

wondering why i always have this thought in mind, am i insecure? or did i think too much once again?

Maybe im lacking the stamina to be running this race, start off fast but later on, short of breathe and slowly give up.

Maybe something has been triggering this thought of mine.

Confuse, complex...

Once again, i think i think too much~ God Damnit.

Maybe it is my family problem that is affecting my emotions, or even my PMS. Sigh Sigh Sigh Sigh. Totally no mood to do anything at all.

Wondering why i feel like crying again when im never a cry baby!!!!

Fucked up!

Liting baobei, Dearest 21st Birthday party...

The usual blowing session between chye and baobei~ LOL!

She rushed to me and kissed me because she saw therene and her boyfriend busy kissing too~ ZzzzZzz

We love his shirt but not HIM~

LOL! It was a good day for baobei and not for me because i was too tired. but overall, at least she is happy. :)

Happy bilated birthday dear baobei~~~

Speaking about it, last week was rather hectic ad draining week for me. been going clubbing on Wednesday and Friday, both days to rebel. Although i left rebel earlier on Wednesday because i need to work on Thursday, i still pretty much enjoyed myself seeing friends that i have longed to see and wanting to meet for ages.

Friday was my anniversary as i woke up earlier to pass love his pressie as well as a lil breakfast for him. im glad he likes the pressie i did for it, it is actually a handmade organiser with collate of photos on it, nothing much. (photos will be up soon when i upload it from my camera!)

Then i head down lunar for their 2nd year anniversary, had an arguement with love and ended the anniversary on a wrong stop. Dint really enjoyed myself in the club then, guan and ting were nice to accompany me and tell me lotsa stuff. mood was lightened after we finish a bottle of martell with alot of ting & me's photo taken as the boys were dead drunk and guan had to take care of him.

Next, some random photos! More updates on facebook please...

Im trying to mimick those drunkard whom keep blowing the bottle. LOL!

Fishballs for sales! LOL!

My sweetie pie for the day.!

Muackz...

My facebook display photo which i like it, pretty pretty.!

Last but not least, me and love. He came for a lil while and headed back home because he had the next day he needs to work.

Appreciated that he came down to find me because it is our anniversary and although he is tired and stressed out for work, at least he show his face. but i hope you can communicate more with me ya? no more miscommunication to cause any unhappiness between us, dont let me dread anniversaries when im looking forward to every single one. :)

Oh ya, Saturday had a stayover at love's house and before we headed to his house, we went geylang to eat dim sum and it was nice and good. :) Thanks love.

Then we headed to catch a movie and eat. love say i keep eating and complains that he was full and GUESS WHAT! I have cravings for mee suan and we went to eat. HE JOLLY WELL FINISHED UP THE BEANCURD AND CHICKEN CUTLET WITHOUT LEAVING SOME FOR ME! SPEAKING ABOUT FULL! LOL! he says he cant resist cause it taste delicious! HAHHAH! What a silly boyfriend im having.

P.S: I caught 500days of summer and i find it pretty messy but it is quite true about the love story. Definitely i have to agree to Shane, certain views do look like him. LOL! oh well~

Im missing:::!

I miss love's mommy's soup and fish.

I have craving eating steamboat.

I wanna go eat dim sum again soon!

I wanna plan one short holiday soon! (before i start school)

I miss love.

:)

speaking about it, last weekend i went to my Primary school friend, MEI FONG and secondary school friend, WEI SIAN's 21st Birthday parties!!!!

I was staying at fong's party most of the time and only head to Wei sian's there for his cake cutting session. My dearest Mei fong let me wait at the chalet for her for 2 damn hours then she force me to stay for longer. And out of so many people, she wanna ask me to drink with her. There she goes, being wasted and me being tipsy! DAMN!

Look at how red her face became. HA!

lol! LOOK, I ONLY GOT YOU WASTED AT THE LATER PART OF THE NIGHT OKIE? AND YOU ONLY CELEBRATE YOUR 21ST BIRTHDAY ONCE IN A LIFE TIME! :D

P.S: im so glad that i do not have liquor during my 21st celebration. HA!

Happy birthday dudes! you know i love you all! ;) May all your wishes come true and hope you like the presents we have gonna you.

things seems to be going back on track for me or should i say, things seem to be slowly settling down. Able to talk to him like a close friend, even auntie took the initiative to sms me to inform me of my accident issue. I heard from mel that she is ok about the matter and cool with me. Feel relieved about it and im actually happy?

but now, something else happened that is very difficult for me to tackle, i was definitely shocked to hear something like that which is happening in your family or even to you, mel! Charm msn-ed me and tell me to look after you, to correct you from what you are doing/have done/about to do. I'm glad you still turn to me for help but i hope you can start to think through everything properly, everyone cares for you, Mel. :)

Please do not let this matter be reveal or a huge storm will be on it way to us. I'm sorry that i kept it as a secret and i don't mean to hide it from you, but if by letting you know, i'm afraid there is no chance for her to change or to be better. Sorry.

P.S: Don't ask me what happen as this matter is not concerning you guys, those involved will never get to read my blog because i have god damn change my bloglink. HAHHAAHHA.

Thanks sweetie for cheering me up. :)


mellie says:
oink thinks alot
by now u should know
he gets affected easily too, he just doesn't show
if u put yourself in his shoes right now
you are working, you are stressed with work, with stress you are giving yourself for not spending enough time with your love


mellie says:
and then you get an sms from an insecure gf
maybe u aren't insecure
u are just seeking something else from him
but he snaps
because all he wants is some support from a gf who will stay with him against all odds
of course u aren't in the wrong
i think that after he flared up
he realised he overdid it. thats why he stop everything with an ilu



mellie says:
he is a very confused individual, really


I'm learning to put myself in your shoe,
i must be thinking:

*Karine in Quan's shoe*, this GF is CRAZY. Nothing also anyhow think. SO FREE LO! KAO! hahahaahh! :)



I will learn to be in your shoes and i hope you can be in mine too. Spare me a little more sweet words and don't be stingy ya? You know i need words of affirmative. :)


Then sweetie tell me something that i felt it was funny!!!!



mellie says:
i asked him how are u like
will u bully my poor oink
he said u wont
cause u are dumb
and i felt at ease
HAHAHAAH



HIM: STUPID CHEE HONG GUAN!!!!!! thanks ah!!!!



Then sweetie say something sweet to me.



mellie says:
wrong
he doesn't want to get into a relationship
over and over again he told me he wont he cant
but you changed his perspective
you, karine kwan, is significant to him
so make yourself worthy of that significance!



How can sweetie give me so many mixed feeling man!!! LOL!

But i do agree to that! I'm now big headed. :)



I love my boyfriend and he is MY BOYFRIEND.







im seriously wondering whether am i suffering from some minor depression or something like that. waking up in the middle of the night, sleepless nights, amplify people's comments into some big shit thing that is shooting me, crying unknowningly and lose my confidence.

just like what happen, yesterday was wanting to make breakfast for love on our anniversary this friday and knowing i cannot cook for nuts, i ask around for suggestions. and suddenly in the middle of the night, i received a sms by someone.

Someone: "Just a piece of advice. Sometimes when you give too much. People will feel that you are over doing or sooner. They will take it for granted. Its human. K."

I cannot deny that i was affected by this text and my mind starts to wander, thinking that am i giving too much to love? will he take me for granted? and my mood start to swing a little. Love asked me this morning what happen to me and i told him about the someone's msg and instantly he had a change in attitude and mood. and i gonna this outta him.

Love: "I curse that person who said this and try to stir up this between us. Screw him. "

I asked him if he were pissed and i gonna this from him.

Love: "Because we are fine! Being Busy now doesn't means im taking you for granted. I thought you would understand. I need my girl to be mature and independent."

and i got pissed. Thinking why am i telling him these and let him get pissed off with something not said by me. Thinking why he cannot tell me that he loves me and it is of bullshit? i never complained to him about his work and in fact, i tried to be supportive in it.

Love: " No. I know you were. But your confidence were swayed by whichever dumb fuck who tried to unsettle us. Its up to you to figure out."

and he ignored me for awhile not replying to my msg-es and with me wanting to cry out on the stupid MRT.

Love: "Look im stressed enough from work."

Love: "You don't understand me."

Love: "Thank you for spoiling my day."

Love: "Of course i'll do my work."

Tears start swelling.

Love: "Why must you be insecure? Did i even do anything? I'm just working hard. Is that even wong? Have i ever took you for granted? Can you stop being silly?"

Love: "Im not linking. Im just pissed why you even thought that way."

No correction, no reassurance and in fact, he slammed me down for things im being influenced, yet not said by me.

Love: " I can't keep doing so."

Love: "What if one day im not here?"

*I swear i can still survive on my own, just like how my parents not wanting to support me. I survived and grow up with me working bloody part time since i was 14. Everyone enjoying themself during their poly days, i worked almost every other day. Rushed from classes to work to sleep to project and back again. I know i can do that!

Love: " You know how much i hate it when you think too much"

I HATE IT TOO!

Love: "I love you."

I still feel like crying, totally cannot focus at work, need to spill this out or my day will be wasted again. How can such comment made by others be making him so pissed? i know im easily influenced and i think alot. i dont know. feeling so much like breaking down.

Thinking twice, maybe i am instead the one, aint suitable to be in another relationship.

A burden is what im, what i think im, what i believe.


damnit! im emotional again!

boyfriend is very "gan ho" at work and in fact, he is the first person that i have seen worked in such fast pace, i dont know how to say but he is one crazy fellow.

First day (Thurs) worked till 1am, follow boss around to meet clients.

Second day (Fri) worked till 1am again, drove bosses's car out to meet clients alone.

Third day (Sat) worked till 12am, drove company's van around, meeting clients, travelling to events venue and drove the company's van home.

His third day of work feels like he has been in the company for months to years. Singapore's companies are seriously good at stressing its staff off man! i hope love will not fall ill at the rate he is busy working and not eating at all.

Now i'm worry. :(

but at least, he is enjoying what he is doing now and of course, he is learnng alot of things as well..

P.S: On a lighter note, love bought a mirror and put it in his room JUST FOR ME! although it is not solely for my use, but he buy it for me because whenever i stayed over his house, i have problems dressing up/putting make-up because his room doesnt have a mirror.

How sweet he can be? HAHAHA!

"Jun Quan Soh gotta squeeze time out for girlfriend." love posted on his FB. :)

Im loved.

Wishlist: i hope love is free this friday so that we can celebrate our anni together. im starting to wonder if he would like the present that i gonna for him... hmmmmm.... HOW?

boyfriend busy at work, nowadays when he is free, i will have to share him with his friends.

but at least i get to see him.

misses him.

:(

Weirdly, when a couple is in love. it is like emotional roller-coaster. One small action will either gives you joy or create opportunity for arguement and tear. Hmmmm.

Just when i was grumpy yesterday, i met him, and my mood just turn better.

Good luck hubby on your first day of work, whatever it is, you are in a process to learn new things. :)

and you look very very adorable today. :)

hope i managed to surprise you a little and brighten your day up more.

lovelove