“I am whom i am. Love it or Hate it ”

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All seems well and settled by now, aside from my tonsils being a sore to me, everything is alright.

Hate my tonsils, hate the pain, hate voice-less, but i love MC. :D

LOL!

After 2 days and my voice is still as bad, hope by tomorrow, it will recover. Now i will be a good girl and head to bed once again, for a good rest.

Moving out of Dblo was something so anticipating, as o clique were so busy talking about it.

Dint wanted to head down until Terence told me about the extra slot for guestlist and also, promise Sam Sam to head down.

It was pretty good night as much as for the crowd, but i headed home early. Have yet fully recovered so i will not spoil my health this way.

But it was a good de-stressing session.

i think it's time to let you go.

Let you go free, let you go be yourself.

The fun and the joy you had from others always seems so far much better than those i tried and put in effort to cheer you up.

Go and be back how you wanted to be.

I don't like the fact that you did not seek my consent and took my money just because you need it.

Has it even ring in your mind that i do need the money myself?

You are selfish.

I want to move out of house.



Let me see, there seems to be nothing fabulous that has happened to me over the past 1 week i guess?

This week was more or less a relaxing week for me. I took like 1 week for me to complete my end assessment, on a gradually process, so no stress and i managed to complete in time for it. And then, i was having one week break from school that gives me more time to head to gym.

I WENT TO GYM TWICE THIS WEEKKKKKK!!!! :D

I hope to maintain this practice so not to waste any moolah, or not to gain any more weight man.

Today, i was packing my last term lecture notes so to prepare for a new term, one that is going to end as soon as i realize it, and the next moment, EXAMS.

BOOOOOOOO!!!!

Oh well, mood swing is still occurring pretty much frequently. :(

No photos to blog for my past week of boring life.

and i think that's all. LOL!

im going to bed now.

Nights all.

Just a repeat thought, why did i not go overseas for my degree? Sigh, taking local degree is so taxing, as much as it's a little more recognized in Singapore, but being overseas allow such great exposure...

I could have borrowed bank loan and work part time there, just like how im right now, surviving well.

Oh well, maybe it's just the travelling and living in a foreign country gave me that second thoughts again. Like what i always said, the grass is always greener on the other side...

OH WELL!

Im 95% done with my final end of course assessment for Stats, and i can conclude the end of TERM 1 - 6 weeks just passed LIKE THAT. OMG.

:D

have you guys ever have the feeling wanting to go clubbing? go drink and get drunk? drunk to the extend that you think your worries has all been gone?

i wanna feel that.

BEING IN SUCH A SOUR MOOD, EVERY WORDS SEEMS HARSH EVEN BY THINKING.

Im seriously irritated with your topic as "KEA TO KARADE"

SIGHX.

Uncertainties always arises in my intensity thinking session, practically every day, i think a lot, excessively.

It just keep occurring to me that maybe we are alright, maybe we are in the midst of understanding one another and getting used to one another, accommodating of the various differences.

maybe it's just me again, thinking too much.

i never see you having so much enthusiastic and energy when you are out with me, neither do i see you behaving so cheery when you are around me. Days and days and i will always hear you complaining about your work, about being tired and not sufficient rest taken.

Today, you shown me the cheery side of you, shown me that you are happy, going out on late night activities despite having to work tomorrow, but you guess what... it did not happened when you were with me, it happened when you are out with your friends.

We work very differently.

To me, i would always want to mix my bestfriends with my boyfriend. So, in the midst of being busy, i can accommodate and accompany both side and this is call balance for me. that's is the reason why i would always ask if you would want to follow or accompany me to events or gatherings.

To you, you like these two parties to be separated, not combined. You never have the thoughts to ask me to tag along with you, or simply, you don't bother to ask. (maybe the thoughts run in your mind, but the fact is, you did not voiced it out.)

Maybe your time spend with me is never satisfying or entertaining enough for you as compared to your friends.

Or maybe, the differences is too huge where love, being so magical, can yet to fill the gap up.

Sometimes, i just hope you would be understanding and in fact, show more concerns to me. It occur when i was really very tired at work, i would appreciate if you would even voice out to fetch me home from interchange just to shorten my trip back. but you never did. I told you i had a sore back and gastric, but you never bothered asking why.

Maybe, you just don't need me to be in your life at all.

Stress has been chasing me these few weeks where i''m in fact, trying my best to maintain all the various elements as per how they were.

Having to handle and manage:
1. Work
2. Blogshop
3. Gym-ing session
4. BGR
5. Schooling and projects
6. Friends

Maybe you are also busy with your phrase of life that you just love yourself much more than others, you did not even asked me about my schooling and projects and stuff.

Tell me if you don't need me.

I will learn to walk out of your life quietly.

Today i lied to you telling you im heading to bed, i just don't wish to let you know i will be waiting just for you to get home.

and you, being irresponsible, headed to Kbox knowing tomorrow having to work.

i wouldn't want to have any Karine's day this week since you are tired.

Whatever~!

What rights do i even have, to care?

Human is so complex where a certain thing could be easily settled turn into a mess, as much as we tried to amend, it will never be the same anymore.

This applies to relationship, friendship, work issues and etc.

I face this issue in my friendship.

Is it really true that as teens turn into adults, things start to change? it seems that the older we are, the more sensitive we became. A minor remark turn into a major misunderstanding, but whatever it's. We ought to love ourselves more.

Blogshop blogshop blogshop, it was supposingly to be a kareilade but it became karade. it was from a daily conversation we had via emailing to a blogshop that has 500 over members and 4 collections launched. We asked again for her hand to be in the team, she rejected, her love rejected as well. it does disappoint me a little when the outcome was not what we want, are we not sincere enough?

It feels to me that you rejected the idea, not because you couldn't cope, not because you don't want to do it or not because you are rather busy. it was all because of the initial stage... a simple misunderstanding may turn into a problem.

You know how sad it's for best friends to turn to friends and subsequently hi-bye friends?

Like what you said, WE USED TO BE SO CLOSE. WHAT HAS HAPPEN?
It doubts me as well.

Started off being a clique where you were extremely protective of someone, i would name "A". Then we became best friends despite lacking of meetups and stuff. and now, we are rarely talking to one another and in fact, rarely go out as a clique.

I know alot of things has changed. "A" has became attached and had a major change in her lifestyle but aint that her? Aint we suppose to be happy for her being attached to whom she love instead of picking on her being too engrossed with her boyfriend and lack time for us?

Situation has caused us to get drifted apart as well... but aint those years of friendship well built to tide small minor issues like these?

Situation 1:
We have always been dreaming of staying together, opening shops together when we grow up. But things beg to differ after everyone start to gain exposure. We used to wanting to be Air stewardess together but what happens? You and "A" went attached and decided not to try. We wanted to open blogshop and were putting extra initiative and efforts to wanting to make it happen, in the end it dint. Second time, we tried again on a random note as both of us are always working during office hour. We feel that you were not really interested in doing it as we did not see initiative or interest from your side back then. We really wanted you to be part of us when i had that minor talk with you during prawning, in fact, i know you must be thinking we bastard you. Originally wanted to open together and suddenly, we started without you.

When it comes to Business, we have to talk business. It's no longer like a plain friendship that keeps the business going. We have to take extra effort and initiative to walk towards our goal. We spilt our work clearly and we do show our passionate in making it happens.

P.S: You have yet given me any answers about joining us but we will be waiting for you.

Situation 2:
Unfortunately you were admitted to hospital and both me and "A" were unable to go there at our soonest. "A" was at Malaysia while i had to take care of mommy and also, i was dead broke and unable to take cab to travel to visit you but i did sms-ed "B" very often to check about you.


To us, as much as we are not contacting each other, we see the importance of you, being our best friend.

I hope you do understand, to maintain any relationship require initiative. And we do hope to see in you. Tell you frankly, i was disappointed that none of you taken initiative to ask me about my birthday. If you din't realise, if DH did not take the initiative to plan that dinner, i would not even celebrate my birthday with you guys.

Today, i took initiative to ask you regarding your birthday because i do hope we can bring things back to how it was. Not the time when you have doubts in "A" and suspected her lying on my birthday.

It is when we all were "KEA"

Blogging recently seems rather taxing to me than relaxing, maybe because most of my time editing blog and updating one is for my blogshop. It seems that i have always updated my blog, but it's for business purpose, not for personal.

I have a bad news to share, i haven been to California fitness for the past 3 years because of CNY period as well as project submission week. I did not expect Uni to be so tedious yet time consuming, nevertheless i will try my best to head down to Gym for some kickboxing session this week although i have a end of course assessment to be submitted next thursday.


Hmmmm, rather busy life out there i have ya?

Busy and tired to the extent that i'm actually rejecting alot of clubbing or chilling out sessions these past few weeks. HAHAAH! and guess what, i have only just started studying a month back, and im clearing 2 modules already.

SINGAPORE EDUCATION IS CRAZY SHIT!

BOO!

P.S: Tomorrow will be my half year anniversary with love. It seems like time passes so fast, and i'm stuck to you for 6 months le. HAHAHA! :) love love.

After approximately 1 month being a part time student, here are some thoughts that have been running in my mind since then.

It aint easy to start off studying all over again, all the late-night studying, sacrificing sleep to get certain things done and proper, handling homework, projects and assignments and everything is so OTOT (own time own target).

Oh ya, not talking about the fast pace lifestyle in UniSIM. LOL!

Today i have been exceptionally unhappy, i know it's not worth to even being affected but there again, i was a weakling to feel of such. For my marketing project, i seems to be down in luck to be allocated 2 group members whom were not enthu in these schooling, projects and whatsoever. Dropped them emails and sms-es with regards to project submission and stuff, yet, i received no replies.

Told them to prepare content and get ready for final meet-up yet no one prepares anything. There i look like a fool providing tons of research notes and information.

Nevermind about that, submitted shabby work to me and expect me to submit it as my grading. I have been very stressed over this project as it feels that i'm working all alone, i can say, almost 80 % of the report was done by me, 10% editing was by Pearllyn whom is so kind to help out and remaining 10% evenly spread between my 2 group members.

I did something very anal today, upon vetting through my report by Pearllyn, i auto submitted online because i know i will be busy later part of the night. and after submitting, i forward a copy of the turning in receipt to my groupmates. And guess what, shortly after it, i received a call from my fellow groupmate making a big fuss over not informing them of the group project and submitting without their approval.

IT'S LIKE HELLO~

i did most of the work and i had emailed like a few times yet no reply, NOW, you are telling me that im not cooperative enough?!!!? how annoying can you get?

You even have the cheek to tell me to re-submit it tomorrow morning because of the grace period provided and say my phrasing and content was wrong? WTF ARE YOU THINKING?

i told you guys clearly:
1. Submit final draft by monday 2359 hr
2. Submit confirmed copy by tuesday 2359 hr

WHAT WERE YOU DOING THEN? i only received your one and only copy on Wednesday and you are here making a big fuss!

FUCK OFF! AND STOP STIRRING MY LIFE. if i have good groupmates, i don't even have to suffer! things will just be like my statistics report!

P.S: all im hoping is just a Passing grade for the report, that's all. AND DON'T LET ME SEE YOU TWO IN THE SAME CLASS AGAIN! I SWEAR TO CONDEMN YOU.

You know something, i really wanted to plan a holiday for myself. Despite taking initiatives, asking you a few times on traveling, you shot my idea down.

Maybe i should just plan a holiday ahead without you, with friends if possible, or even, on my own. This could be the fastest way for me to get overseas and relax.

Just checked online again for the air asia promo, talked to you about it yesterday and then, i hear no more news about it. Today, the prices rose sky high. No more the fantastic deal that i have taken a look on and it's no longer worth flying that airline.

I have made known my intention to you that i do, in fact only have a certain period for me to go on a tour. I don't think you took my remark into heart, i don't think you do wanna go traveling, along with me. I don't think you even checked any slots available despite me feeding information to you while you shooting it down.

If you don't intend to go, let me know. I will not voice out to you on packages no more. No more wanting to put hopes into disappointment.

It may be just a simple tour for you, but to me, its a waqy to reward myself after a year of hard-work from studying and working hard.

Sigh.

You always say im forever angry and forever grumpy... OR is it just simply,

you don't understand me
i don't understand you?

Something random just came across my mind today as i was stoning and staring at my computer, thinking what sorta crap should i be writing in my marketing report.

There was once this guy that i had a major crush at during my Secondary school days, we happen to be working together and in fact, we seen each other almost every other day. News start spreading about the little crush i had on him and things improved, we started talking on the phone till late nights, sms each other every single day and even, on days he is free, he would walk me home or we would all head down to Fisherman Village for our usual after work supper session.

We started being closer and there was this period when we were flings, couple but no recognition. And the next moment, he MIA and after a few months, he was attached.

I have yet see him for years and a few months ago, i saw him in club. He took the initiative to approach me and talk to me. He even called me a few nights after and we chatted about old times, about how nice i was to him and he was actually having mutual feelings for me then too.

At that moment when i heard about it, i felt he was a serious bastard. and i started to drift myself away from him. But before all these, i was actually stupid enough to head down to where he was working and peep at him. It was all then.

I happen to talk about it again is because i happen to browse through his facebook. No longer the feeling of puppylove exist, in fact, i find him rather annoying. :D

it's amazing at how things turn around, couples become enemies, friends become not so friend. LOL!

Whatever it's, he's part and parcel of my life and i thank him for making me grow up and grow out of him. LOL!

oh well, back to my mugging session. Took leave just hoping to complete my work in-time.

off i go to crapping again~

As much as im rather busy but i still decided to give my blog a little time and to update those nice friends of mine whom still read my blog to wanna know more about me. :)

This year birthday was something small scale, in fact, it wasn't a huge blast like how i did last year. In fact, it was just some minor get-together session with a few cliques, some came with well wishes while some came, because they were told to come along. But afterall, i still thank all.

Lifebrandz D&D happens to fall one day before my birthday where that is the partial reason why i did not plan something big for my birthday as all my energy and ideas were drained by the D&D since i'm part of the committee.



This year is our First year holding our D&D and the location is Pan Pacific Hotel serving a 8 course meal with Irene Ang as emcee. Our table arrangement is as per below:


These are the few ladies involved in the main committee. There are still 2 more missing in actions as they were in another room being dressed up and set their pretty hairstyle for the event.

It was actually a little upsetting when the head of the team actually recruited more committee members AT THE VERY LAST MEETING WHERE THINGS WERE JUST ABOUT CONFIRMING. It make us feel less glory being in the team. but whatever it is, i did my part.


This is the full team's photo with Gavin being drunk and looking all around for his blazer when it was always in his car. LOL!

Good Job team. :D

I was glad that i did not get drunk by all those birthday toasting by my fellow colleagues but there again, i appreciated all the wishing and i thank you for saying it. :)

Another gathering with baobei, agnes and therene darlings, for dinner and for Dblo session as ting asked me to come along. So off we went partying. That's Danyael and me in the photo, a nice chap that bought a round of jagerbomb for all and invited me to do the pushing of cup session. LOL!


The pretty ladies whom party the night with me. :D Thanks.


Happy birthday to myself. :D

A side note to Bee,

Thanks for taking leave for me on my actual birthday and driving me to vivo for some relaxation. Thanks for being by my side. love you plenty. :D