“I am whom i am. Love it or Hate it ”

Maybe

Thursday, August 26 || 11:00:00 PM

Damn, first time that i feel like i don't know if i am suppose to pen this down. The feeling is overwhelming, the moment that you keep telling me that i do not have a good temper and asked if I'm possible to be better, it makes me feel upset.

No, it's not you. I feel lousy, feels that I'm not up to your requirement, feels that I'm really bad temper.

I don't know what to express when i was holding the phone with you but i do know that at that moment, i was hurt and tears were like swelling up, that is also why i keep quiet.

Maybe i think too much once again.

Sorry for being short-fuse,
Sorry for being bad temper,
Sorry for being demanding,
Sorry for not being sensitive enough,
Sorry for having short attention span.

I am tired, maybe, i just did not tried my best.

Just some whining,
Karine

The past.

Sunday, August 22 || 12:06:00 AM

I don't know if it was right for me to see ur texts, knowing that i may hurt myself when reading it... But all i know was that i wish to know more about you and that's why i decided to continue reading. Perhaps yes, it's true that you both have nothing on-going, but to me, the moment when i happen to read through those messages, i feel like I'm interfering you both from getting into one.

I think i need to stop blogging, sleepy mind is overwhelming sad cells in my mind..... edited and talk tomorrow.

CIAO~ NIGHTS!

Seems like brain is able to function better early in the morning, right after i have gonna my red painted nails that was soooooooo red, just like a cherry. LOL! (OKAY, that was random~~)

Thanks for putting in effort trying to explain to me of how importance im to you, or should i say, for you to me as well. Just like i have told you, i had a bad r/s previously, one that made me felt like an idiot putting in effort for him.

SO...

When i decided to step back into falling in love, in fact, i have dumped in alot of trust, confidence, time, effort into believing that this time round, it is going to work out just right.

I hope you understand why i think alot and also, provide me some time for me to work things out....

<3

Nevermind.

Sunday, August 15 || 11:52:00 PM

Do you understand how important for me to hear about him from you when you are actually my closest girlfriend? ONE whom i share everything under the sun and knows that i will not be judged, will be supported and advised? This is what i wish to archive for you and for me, so that we can share one another burden.

You told me, our conversation has become of 80% him.

Don't you remember the times when i spend time and effort to talk to him about you guys, to observe how he behave and to share news of him to him??? Or should i ask, why in the first place do i bother to know him better? To me, i want to know him so that i can advise you better, and also, to know if he is of worthy to you.

So tell me, the fact of me wanting to know more about your comment, is it too selfish? am i asking for too much?

Your initial phrase of asking me alot about him was when you guys just started knowing more of one another, and i helped. Then, it was before my cruise trip. And now, i tried asking more from you, yet you tell me that you barely know him.

Yes, i have to admit. School started, i have lesser time to check out on you, so much so i know you are facing problem at home and feeling stress over school work. I know it too cause i am facing it.

But just to let you know, i do put in effort to make the connection. The Tuesday movie and the partying session where i was running high temperature on the day itself and popped 4 panadols. I make no sound, no whining that im sick, and instead, i tried to make the night a good night for you.

Nevermind, im tired. I don't want to comment.

Just for you...

Saturday, August 14 || 7:41:00 PM

Haven been hitting the partying mood for like close to 2 weeks, declining all the fri and sat's invitations for then and because of lovelove, she managed to apply annual leave on Friday and there i go to find her.... :))

Not seen her for like close to 1 week actually, not that long but i do miss her many many. Loves.

Our favorite drink and we love to drink it in shots made by He Ping.... :)

And as usual, our cam-whoring mode is instantly switched on in the dark and loud atmosphere and that's also why i have MANY partying photos. It's definitely one good memories... :)

You know i love you aye? Thanks for always being there for me.

P.S: Thank you Sillyboy for coming down toooooooo, i know you come down is for my sake and you would not wish to party anymore and like what you have said, you have pass the phrase of life to party. :) Much appreciated.

With love,
Karine

Another JC's gathering session

|| 7:26:00 PM

Everyone do love the long weekend aye? 3 days straight resting session doesn't seems sufficient for me, so much so that i fell ill, need to take extra care of myself nowadays since i am coping with school and work.

As i was saying, On Sunday itself, went for JC's gathering aka Singling's birthday celebration. It was something simple, more like a get-together and drinking session. Seems that i am not that comfortable with the full JC team since half of them are my regular Makan kakis.

Anyway, yeap. The whole k-singing session i only sang 1 song, which is unbelievable aint it? LOL!

Amy and Mike. :)

Arthur Choo

Isabelle and ME. :)

The casual drinking session.......

Life in JC still goes on.......

Nonsensical Thoughts

Thursday, August 5 || 10:12:00 PM

Am i right to say that a person like me seems on the nutshell that im a filial child whom loves and communicates well with my parents?

But not much people knows that despite im more than willing to risk my life and die for either of my parents IF they face any difficulties (Keyword *IF* and *Touchwood*), i kept many important updates of my life from them.

They do not know i have left Lifebrandz;
They do not know i drinks almost on a weekly basis and even at times, 3 times a week;
They do not know i lost my wallet;
They do not know that i was ditched by a jerk;
They do not know how stressful im facing new working environment and adapting to school work and stress...

But what they do see is just a perfect little Karine whom has well covered her imperfections and this is what they see me as:

They know im taking my degree very seriously;
They know that im taking good responsibility for my own living and future;
They know that im very independent;
They know that i have found someone else whom pampers me;
They knows that i will work hard for my future...

Ignore me and my rantings, just a random thought.
Perhaps i do really need to cool down and calm down from all the self-expectations that i have benchmark for myself.

But what i do know is what im facing or doing now is definitely be beneficial for my future and no one other than myself is accountable for the outcome of the future i would want it to be.

P.S: Financial freedom~

With love,
Karine

生日快樂 to Mr Jason Yip!!!!! Smooth Sailing and all the best to you. :)

Can't Smile Without You

Sunday, August 1 || 1:15:00 PM

Was supposed to have a lil gathering session with Amantha, but in the end, it seems more like a JCJF gathering session. So this time round, me and babe decided to go out together, dating, and only the 2 of us. :)))) Next Sunday shall be our gathering session, planning to go Sentosa for picnic and tanning session. Loves much.

The usual Friday night at the usual spot with my oo clique but this time round, with Fong and Steff (my primary school friends) joining me in the night of chilling and relaxing session. I dint managed to spend alot of time with them because i only managed to re-enter at close to 2am where DblO closes at 3am. LOL! In fact, i think i drank very little that night that gives me an excuse to head to Dolly for 2nd round.

It was also the same night where i heard of something of importance, and that has become a part of my life.... Where my kinder surprise begins~

Barry Manilow - Can't Smile Without You

You know I can't smile without you

I can't smile without you
I can't laugh and I can't sing
I'm finding it hard to do anything
you see I feel sad when you're sad
I feel glad when you're glad
if you only knew what I'm going through
I just can't smile without you

you came along just like a song
and brighten my day
who would have believed that you where part of a dream
now it all seems light years away

and now you know I can't smile without you
I can't smile without you
I can't laugh and I can't sing
I'm finding it hard to do anything
you see I feel sad when your sad
I feel glad when you're glad
if you only knew what I'm going through
I just can't smile

now some people say happiness takes so very long to find
well, I'm finding it hard leaving your love behind me

and you see I can't smile without you
I can't smile without you
I can't laugh and I can't sing
I'm finding it hard to do anything
you see I feel glad when you're glad
I feel sad when you're sad
if you only knew what I'm going through
I just can't smile without you