“I am whom i am. Love it or Hate it ”
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Emotions
Saturday, September 29 || 5:32:00 AM
I guess after all i am pretty much considered by many that i have split personalities. One may find that i am straight-forward, noisy, expressive while another, could be one that reads my blog and feel that i am a fking emo kia, somewhere there at one corner, drawing circles. LOL!
I just want to say that i am not very good with managing my emotions, especially lately. School and work have been draining me out... And to be slogging like mad without recognition nor appreciation may not be the perfect ending now for a Part-time undergrad like me.
Then i will think back... have i actually feedback to the boss on this issue? was i given "Karine's time" to talk about my prospect and progress? I guess the answer is a No no. Confirmation letter was handed over to me while she walked past and say this is for you. While appraisal was done in like less than 5 minutes as i was attending a course and it is the last day she need to complete and submit the forms.
And definitely, above me... there are a few other senior colleagues or even, the one that covers da boss's appraisal of me. Just so maybe, i am not good with words. I do not "sai nai", i do not complain about the excessive work that is being handed to me.
Today, heard some progression from various colleagues and that keep me pondering... What about mine? what went wrong? what could be done better?
No doubt that i do not OT as much, but that doesn't mean im inefficient. I am just trying to have work-life balance. I do not reply emails during wee hours or over the weekend because i am not given the access to.
Next month will be a crucial month for me and i have decided... it's a DO or DIE mode.
Enough is enough and it's time to fight for my own.
Just hope people around me will understand when one day i made the decision, it is through deep thoughts.
*CROSSED FINGER*
Childhood friend - Sinus
Monday, September 17 || 10:34:00 PM
Sinus is really getting on my nerves especially on days during the lunar seven month.
Been having problem breathing and flu all day long that makes me feel relatively irritated.
Today, been to the doctor and was told that my sinus is relatively serious. OH WELL, who cares~
After all, this has been haunting me since im young. so yea~
Took 2 days mc and was given like 6 different medicine plus cough syrup plus eye drop for the irritation.
HOPE I WILL RECOVER SOON AYE~ :)
Fight a war~
Saturday, September 15 || 3:04:00 AM
Somehow i feel that this final lapse is going to be extremely tough for me.
Been very stressed up over work issues and my major project.
It seems that i have been awake for almost 2 hours during wee hours but all i did was to browse at blogshops, drink my orange juice, checked my social media tools and that's about it.
The notes are by my side but the school portal tab wasn't open.
Tell me where to find the strength to continue.
I am tired.
He asked me.... Why am i so tired? I feel like saying that im tired from working and schooling. Mentally drained it is.
BOOHOO!
Another decision time~
Saturday, September 8 || 10:26:00 AM
Been talking to quite a few people on the decision time and maybe in a couple of months, i will need to make decision soon.
To move or to leave?
If based on what i have for myself for the next 5 years.... The decision is clear.
if emotion ties in prior making logical sense, the decision is blurry.
In another 2 months, i will be graduating and next, i will be ending all my suffering from the past 3.5 years of part-time schooling.
Pls give me strength.
Karine
A new chapter, a different me.
Sunday, September 2 || 3:56:00 AM
Sometimes it shocks me a little to actually know that i still have friends who will randomly browse my blogsite and asked about my recent updates. Thanks people~ Really appreciate it alot!!! :)
On a side note, the blog nowadays have always been a useful place for me to dump all negative energy, okay, not all, some negative energy that i hold against... against my life, family, BGR & work.
And also, i was being told that my previous DP in the blog makes the person BTH alot alot. SO! i took some effort to tidy up my friend's list / wishlist / Display picture.
And also, decided to start blogging something more positive~~~ :)
Recently week i have just attended my good friend - Lynn's baby shower. She is one whom i have knew since poly days and only became closer during our university days...
Carrying a new life in my arms, looking at it smiling peacefully makes me re-look into the direction in life. Tidy up a little on the emotion part, vibes up a little more.
P.S: I think he will become a handsomeboy in future since he's Mr Yeo and Ms Ng 的结晶品. :)
I hope i will keep this new chapter long enough to let people sense the different and before the negative thoughts get into me again~.
For now, tata.
Karine
